Spawnie's Life as a Retail Slut











Spawnie's Life as a Retail Slut

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Overtime ! Yippie !

Someone called in sick to work on Friday, so I got to stay late to get some extra hours. At the end of my extended shift, my boss asks me, if I wanna go help out, and another store, so I say sure. I ended up working at that other store, until midnight. They were having some kind of presentation thingie, and everyone and their mom, from HQ, was going to go to that store.

So I ended up having to stock and clean shelves all night. Fun! Anyway, after I got done there on Friday night, they asked me to come in on Saturday, and help out with all the bigwigs being there. I agreed, because that means, that all day on Sunday, is overtime.

I then find out, that because that chick called in sick, my schedule got changed. I'm normally off on Mondays, but now I have to work Monday, with means my next day off won't be until Saturday the 17th. D'oh. So that means I'll work 11 days in a row, without a day off. Goody. One of the other cashiers I work with, is mad at me. He's upset, because I'm new, and I'm getting more hours then he is, and he has been there for 5 years.

Oh well. I figure, I'm getting more hours, because I work my ass off, and maybe he gets less hours, because he doesn't do much of anything. He just kinda stands there, and occasionally, will stock something, but otherwise, he does nothing.

Ok more later.

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 9:26 PM

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Kids Are Funny

I like tormenting, and annoying Zombie's son. At the store yesterday, I picked him up, and put him in the bed of my pick-up truck. Opps. He enjoyed it, and now wants to play in there all the time. I told him, to be good all day today, and when I got home from work, he would be able to play in it.

I come home from work, and the first words out of his mouth, were " Outside, play in truck ! " So after dinner, me and MistressZombieGoddessOfAll, take the little kidlets outside, so they can play in the truck. They had a blast.

Who would've thunk it, put kiddies in the bed of a truck, and they'll have fun for hours. And of course, since I let them play in there tonight, they are going to want to all the time now. I've created a couple of monsters.

And now onto work.

Working retail, you get some of the dumbest customers. This is true no matter where you work in the retail field. We were busy today, so I had 6 people in my line at the register. When number 6 comes up to pay, he asks me if my check-out lane is open. I reply yes, with a dumb founded look on my face. I then ring everything up, and tell him his total, it was $76.41. He repeats it back to me, and I tell him, " Yes sir ." He then hands me two $50's, and I give him his change. He then argues with me, saying that I gave him the wrong change. I tell him that I didn't, and I count the change back to him, he says that it is wrong.

So after 4 more times counting the change, and him telling me it is wrong, I call my boss over. I explain the situation to my boss, and he goes over there to talk to the customer, and count back his change. My boss counts back the change, the same way I did, and gets the same number, the customer says that he is wrong. My boss asks him, how much did he give me, the customer replies, "one hundred dollars. " My boss says yeah, and your change from the $100 dollars is, and counts back the change.

The customer replies again, that the change is wrong. My boss asks him again, what he paid with, and the customer replies, a one hundred dollar bill. Well, looking in my drawer, and seeing that there is no $100 bills in there, the manager says, you gave him 2 $50's right ? The customer says, no, I gave him a $100 dollar bill.

This is where the conflict was coming from. The customer thought, that a $100 dollar bill, is worth more then 2 $50 dollar bills. Eventually, the customer accepted, that he has given me two 50's and that his change was right, and he went on his merry way. I leave for lunch.

I come back from lunch, and go back to ringing up customers. About an hour or so after I came back from lunch, a guy comes up to my register, and asks for help. It was slow, and there was another cashier there, so I leave my register, and help the guy. He wants to know which wiper blades to buy, I look up his car in the computer, and tell him which ones to buy. Great, that's done. Next question, do we sell oil ? I thought that this was a dumb question, considering we are in an auto parts store, but I tell him yes we do, and it is in aisle 5. He goes to aisle 5, and I go back to my register.

He comes up to my register, with a gallon of anti-freeze. I think, Ok, he didn't need oil. I ask him if he found everything ok, and he replies yes. I ring him up, and he goes away. He goes in his car, and drives away. He comes back to the store, an hour later, on a bike. He goes back to aisle 5, and comes back to the register, with an oil filter, all sorts of motor cleaning chemicals, and a case of oil. He pays for his purchases, and tells me, that he had bought anti-freeze earlier, and I say, " Yes, I remember. " He then tells me, that he got home, and proceed, to pour the whole gallon of anti-freeze, into his oil pan.

And here is the dumb question of the day. " Excuse me Sir, I need some gas, do you guys have that here ? " I work in an auto parts store, not a gas station. We sell everything needed to fix and maintain your car, but we don't sell gasoline. We have no gas pumps outside, and we don't have one hiding in the back room, for the occasional customer, that thinks we do.

I hate my job.

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 10:54 PM

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Zombie Wants Me Dead !

Yesterday, Zombie decided that she would make for me, the dinner of my choice. Me, being boring and bland, picked meatloaf. Zombie is a badass cook, she has mad cooking skillz Yo ! But anyway, dinner was wonderful, and a few hours after dinner, I fell asleep, with a belly full of Mt. Dew, and Meatloaf A La Zombie. I don't know if Zombie spiked my meatloaf, or if I was suffering from a caffeine induced daze, but I had a very interesting dream.

I'm outside, doing a tune-up, on my Big Black Truck of Doom, and Zombie comes outside, to tell me that she needs me to do something. I tell her it'll be a few minutes, and she storms away, all pissed off at me. I'm not how much time passes by, but she comes back outside, and tells me that I need to come in, and do whatever it was that she needed me to do, now. I tell her that I'm not finished yet, and that I'll be right with her.

That was not the answer she wanted. She grabs one of my old spark plug wires, and proceeds to strangle me with it. As the life is being choked outta me, she just glares at me, and says, "All I needed you to do was one thing, and you refuse ! "

So I'm not sure what this dream means, but it did teach me a lesson. From now on, anytime Zombie asks for something, I'll drop whatever I'm doing, and go do as she asks.

Later.

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 11:14 PM

Monday, October 06, 2003

Attempted Murder !

The other day, I was driving back from the store with Zombie and her offspring. And there it is in front of me ! An Evil HellKitty !! So being the good person that I am, I swerve, and try to kill it, thus helping out the world, by removing a cat from the planet. But alas, my driving skills suck, and I miss the cat by a few yards.

Most people try to avoid running over animals, I'm all about running um over. I mean come on, if you were playing in traffic I'd run you over too. I'm not a very patient person, and I'm even worse when I'm driving. Hey honey look, There is a car over there on fire, oh, and there is a few dead bodies, lets stop and watch. Shit, get the hell outta my way. If you wanna look at accidents all day, get a job as a cop or a EMT, but do it on your own time, and get the hell outta my way.

But anyway, I'm upset. I have yet to break my truck in. I've owned it for a little over 3 years, and I have yet to run over and little furry animals. So I've decided to ask for your help !

Does your neighbor have any annoying pets, that you'd like to see run over ? Just send me the animal, and for a small fee, I'll run over that pesky kitty, or deranged dog, and film it for you. I will then send you pictures of the slaughter. The price for the pictures varies by the animal, send an email for a price list.



Ok, I'm off to find something to break. I'll talk to ya later.

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 8:12 PM


BeHold ! Spawnie has a Blog !

First, I want to thank MistressZombieGoddessofAll, for making my blog all pretty and stuff. Yay! Go Zombie !

Ok, anywho, on to blogging, remember, be gentile, it's my time. Today is a day off from work, yay, but I'm actually more bored, then I am at work. My job's boring, I'm a cashier at an auto parts store, Yippie ! Anyway, the job is kinda standing there, ringing up a customer or 3 an hour or so. A blind, half retarded, one arm Monkey can do this job, but the decided to hire me, and pay me 8.50/hr to do it. Wooohooo.

I've been there a week, and I already got in trouble. I was $5 short in my register one day, so I got a little write-up thingie, and I also got in trouble, because I had overtime. The overtime isn't my fault, I was scheduled to work 45 hours last week, and I only worked 41, and they are complaining. It's not my fault, that I was working 9 and 1/2 hour days, with no breaks.

We have a sale going on right now, for wiper blades, buy one, get one free, so the boss made us tell every customer that came to our register about it. So I did. I got a hat on Friday, because I sold the most wiper blades. Woohooo, Go Me.

Ok, this blog is boring. I'll post more, when I actually have something intelligent or funny to say.

later.

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 12:11 PM

Sunday, October 05, 2003

test test test

TheGuyOnTheCouch at 8:00 PM

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